The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer
long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the
winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays
the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. The shivering
grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all
summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The
grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer
away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.
A social worker finds
the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the
squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate,
like the grasshopper, are cold and starving.
The BBC shows up to provide
live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the
squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.
The
British press inform people that they should be ashamed that in a country of
such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so, while others have
plenty.
The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper
Council of GB demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house.
The BBC,
interrupting a cultural festival special from Notting Hill with breaking news,
broadcasts a multi cultural choir singing "We Shall Overcome".
Ken
Livingstone rants in an interview with Trevor McDonald that the squirrel got
rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the
squirrel to make him pay his "fair share" and increases the charge for
squirrels to enter inner London.
In response to pressure from the media,
the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination
Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The squirrel's taxes are
reassessed.
He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers
as builders for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine for
contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work.
The
grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish it and
an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile.
The
squirrel's food is seized and re distributed to the more needy members of
society, in this case the grasshopper.
Without enough money to buy more
food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has
to downsize and start building a new home. The local authority takes over his
old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had
hijacked a plane to get to Britain as they had to share their country of origin
with mice.
On arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of
Britain's apparent love of dogs.
The cats had been arrested for the
international offence of hijacking and attempted bombing but were immediately
released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in
custody.
Initial moves to then return them to their own country were
abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice.
The cats
devise and start a scam to obtain money from people's credit cards.
A
Panorama special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrel's
food, though spring is still months away, while the council house he is in,
crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain the house.
He is
shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is blamed for the
grasshopper's drug 'illness'.
The cats seek recompense in the British
courts for their treatment since arrival in UK.
The grasshopper gets
arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs
habit.
He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in
custody for a few weeks.
He is placed in the care of the probation service
to monitor and supervise him.
Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig
in a botched robbery.
A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost
£10,000,000 and state the obvious, is set up.
Additional money is put
into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers and legal aid for
lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased.
The asylum-seeking cats
are praised by the government for enriching Britain's multicultural diversity
and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats.
The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose.
The usual sections of the
press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes
of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of prison.
They call for the resignation of a minister.
The cats are paid a
million pounds each because their rights were infringed when the government
failed to inform them there were mice in the United Kingdom. The squirrel, the
dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the burglaries and
robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover
losses, their taxes are increased to pay for law and order and they are told
that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a shortfall in government
funds.